Three Black Spots

120/80

Dr Hentek told me that I have high blood pressure. Just like that. Moi? I’m the coolest cat on the planet, a legend in my own mind. Not me. Next thought - Why me?

The doctor is intensely practical. She has a ‘ Whatever gets you through the day’ attitude – unlike most doctors who regard the white coat as a cassock, and deliver homilies with the earnestness of a newly frocked ( perhaps soon to be defrocked) member of the clergy.

‘Learn to take life easy. Don’t get stressed out so much. Take time off to smell the roses. Tomorrow is another day. Why do you worry so much? High blood pressure is the silent killer. Check your pressure at least once a week’. Listening to this drivel always drove up my pressure by at least fifteen points.

The only useful advice I got was from Dr Hentek- ‘Take these pills twice a day’. At least something I could act on.

Tried Yoga. Worked for Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow. Did not work for me.

Enter Yoda.

Yoda needs grooming every morning, before he can be presented to the world at large. It is a ritual that he looks forward to, not for its own sake, but for the outcome. Every star willingly pays a price for being beautiful.

First the wide brush with the heavy handle and strong prongs. Firm strokes, as you take off the layer of dust and straighten out the hair. Start on the right side, and work your way from head to tail. Or vice versa. Omakase! The hair comes off on the brush, the next layer becomes visible, pristine and ready to shine. The hair does a natural perfect part and ascades down both sides of his body. Take the hair off the brush with a tissue, and let the little fluffs pile up on the side.

Untangle any knots you find. Raise Yoda and do his face. Stroke his beard down, but not to a point. No Fu Manchu or Ho Chi Minh. Lift him up by his front paws, and do his stomach. Turn him around and do his tail. Take care to do the inner sides of his feet. Yoda lies still, closes his eyes, as the brush strokes massage his body.

Next the small wired brush. Faster action, since the brush encounters no resistance. With each stroke, his coat gets more lustre.

And then the close up action with the fine toothed comb. Under his eyes, on his forehead, below his chin. Gently does it, since you don’t want to pull his hair too much.

Now he is ready for the finishing touches with Mina. The face gets the final once over. The top knot is shaped to perfection. The little rubber band is set in place. A new bow is chosen, and put on. He gets his teeth brushed. Now it’s time for his vitamins – E, Centrum, and something for his skin. Then, it’s time for his harness. Usually chosen to match his bow.

Yoda’s excitement grows as Mina comes to the end of her ministrations. He knows that he is now camera ready. He also knows that its goody time.

Set him down on the floor. He looks up at you, and gives you a strong message ‘I did my bit, now do yours’. If you dawdle, his paw comes up and taps your ankle. ‘C’mon, get a move on’.

The green bag has his chewy treats. Fish one out, give it to him, and he scurries off with it, triumphant and protective. Yoda is now ready to face the world. And so are we. 120/80. These days, I hit the number every time. Is it the meds? Or is it Yoda. Who knows?