Three Black Spots

Guilt edged in Monaco

In India we have very specific associations with cities and countries of the world. You go to Switzerland to open a numbered bank account, to Paris to drool over the Can Can dancers, to England to find a little piece of Southall that you can call your own, to California to open a motel or more recently to write software, to Singapore ,Hong Kong and Dubai for shopping, and to Bangkok for a massage.

But Monaco has always had a special place in our hearts. We have all grown up dipping Monaco biscuits in our cups of tea. And we think of Grace Kelly, the Grand Prix and yachts in the Mediterranean. Of course we had to take Yoda to Monaco.

The drive from Nice to Monaco has been immortalized in film, and as we winged past the Corniche in our rent-a-car Ford, we made believe that it was an Aston Martin, and Yoda was a Double O agent we were smuggling in to meet the Prince. We have very fertile imagination, Yoda did his bit by looking out of the window, with his windswept hair and his Ferrari bow in place, and we waltzed into Monaco shaken, and very stirred.

Food has always been our undoing. The gourmet press was all agog that Alain Ducasse had regained his Michelin 3 star status both for his Monaco and Paris restaurants, and so naturally we had to eat there. I walked into the Hotel de Paris, and tried to get us a table that night. I got the ‘you must be joking’ look, and was offered a reservation three weeks into the future. Some cajoling later, I was told that they could accommodate us for lunch on the day we were leaving. I warned them that we had a dog in tow. No problem. They warned me the restaurant would be quite empty at lunch on a weekday , and the usual buzz would be absent. No problem. We wanted to sample the food, and anytime we wanted ‘buzz’ we could go down to Grand Central. Every great restaurant has its signature touch. Balthazar’s care package of bread to take home, the flowers of La Grenouille, the Italian waiters at Mr Chow, the Midori Margaritas at Nobu….all add a frisson to the dining experience.

Ducasse tips his hat to ladies who dine, with elegant little stools on which they can place their handbags. In an age where the hunt for a Birkin can span many continents, and women invest in ‘time shares’ in five figure handbags, this is an act of great finesse. So, the stool was brought out, Mina’s bag was placed on it, Yoda’s bag was set in its place next to Mina and we were all set to order.

The waiter brought out another little stool and asked if we would like to take Yoda out of his bag, and set him on it. Wowzer. There were only a couple of other tables occupied, so Yoda was getting a free pass. Yoda got on his perch, the wine list was produced and all was very well with the world.

Yoda was restless and unhappy on his stool, and was not comfortable even when we put him back in his bag. I took him out for a walk, and on the way back, passed the coat check stall. I asked the lady if I could leave Yoda behind with her, and she nodded yes with bright eyes and a happy expression. I took Yoda behind the counter and nearly tripped over her giant Alsatian who was fast asleep.

How was this going to work? No sweat, she signed to me. Her English and my French could find no meeting point, but she had great gestures. The Alsatian was the sweetest dog on earth, and would not bother Yoda one bit.

I went back into the restaurant and confessed that I had left Yoda behind with a huge monster who would have no problem eating him in a trice. The good wine, and great food induced a general sense of well being. Nothing could go wrong. We would enjoy our food, and we would pick up Yoda in fine shape as we left.

All parents suffer from great pangs of guilt, specially when they know they have done something bad . I tiptoed up to the coat check between courses. The lady was not there, but the dogs were. Both were sound asleep.

Lunch done, we went up to the counter to reclaim our dog. He was still fast asleep and the Alsatian had gone up to lie down beside him. In our imagination, he had decided to become the protector and guardian for this Shih Tzu whose parents had abandoned him while they feasted.

We had to shake Yoda awake. He went up, nuzzled the Alsatian, planted fat wet kisses on the cheeks of the lady, and grudgingly came to us. ‘What does a dog have to do to get his zzzzzs?’ was his general attitude.

We drove back on the Corniche feeling a little better than we should have. Good wine and good food will do that every time. Yoda had conquered Monaco. Next stop Paris.