Three Black Spots

Beast of Burden

Amin did have a sense of humor though. He used to be carried into events on a palanquin, borne by white men with strong muscles, and even stronger survival instinct, and perhaps a few good oil concessions in their pockets. “White man’s burden” he called it. Ho, ho, ho…

We were in Cordoba, and living in a hotel right in the heart of the old city, inside the walls by the Juderia. Cobbled stones and Mina’s feet don’t always agree, so I got the brain wave of a ride in a horse carriage. There were many hansom cabs parked outside the gates, you could locate them by their smell, and I negotiated a ride at a larcenous price. The only consolation in such cases is knowing that everyone else is also being taken – I made sure to overhear the negotiations of the family right behind us.

So, off we went, Yoda in hand, safely ensconced in his carrying case. The horse took off, and Yoda sat right up, looking out with his tongue handing out. We got the usual looks from locals and tourists alike – a dog riding a horse carriage – what will they think of next? But we were too caught up looking at the houses, and into the patios to bother.

The carriage stopped outside the Manolete museum/mausoleum. He is buried in there, and the bull that sent him off has been skinned and mounted on the wall. A cautionary tale for bulls all over: if you manage to gore the greatest bull fighter of all time, expect no thanks.

After a while Yoda began to shiver and then get restless, and it was quite a tussle keeping him in the bag. I don’t know if it was the noise of the horse’s feet, or the rattling of the carriage on the stones, or just the unusual experience of being in a horse carriage. Mina and I exchanged our “this is a huge mistake” looks. But, we were trapped. Too far away from our hotel to get out and walk back, and too deep into the cab-free by lanes of the old city to even think of finding a ride back to the hotel. We gritted our teeth, hugged Yoda, and whispered what we hoped were soothing reassurances into his ear. Its okay Yodie, it’s only a few minutes more, we’re almost there, don’t worry bebop – but he was not to be consoled.

When we got off the carriage I don’t know who snorted more loudly – the horse in indignation when he realized that he had been ferrying a dog, or Yoda. He gave us the never again look, and raced off to the hotel. I ran behind him sure I was going to break a leg, or at least an ankle. Serves you right would have been Yoda’s reaction.

We’re obviously suckers for punishment. We took Yoda on the TGV from Lyons to Paris. An enormous distance, that took just two hours. Once again, this was a bad idea. As the train lurched around the first bend and took off, Yoda got upset and stayed that way till we got to Paris. When we got off the train, Yoda was in no mood to lap up the admiration that he always generates from the French. Once again, we had let him down.

We have now learned our lesson. We know for sure that there are only three forms of transportation that meet with our boy’s approval. He is fine with planes, especially after take off. He seems to prefer the 747, as indeed we do. Far more spacious, with plenty of room for him to spread out and enjoy the ride.

He is also fine with well sprung and well air conditioned cars. He would rather have the entire back seat to himself, but he is willing to grudgingly accommodate some of Mina’s shopping bags, or her handbag. He knows who the boss is, and how far she can be pushed.

But his best ride is his carrying case. He sticks his head out of the bag, stands with his front paws on the side, takes in the sights and smells, and lets the wind push his hair back in total Red Baron style. It’s got to be uncomfortable by human standards – the case is always in motion, being swung gently from front to back and sometimes from side to side. I think that he likes the idea of getting more than a dog’s eye view of the world. He is no longer on he ground, looking at people’s feet, dodging puddles and potholes, and making sure he does not get trampled. He is now at knee level, and can make eye contact as he looks up. He is more than just a four legged creature to be looked down at. He has his own rather elegant transportation. He has his elevation.

And most important, he has his faithful carrier. Moi. Idi Amin could not have done better.